And my word for 2012 is...

I love the nostalgia and the hope of a new year, and whilst I understand those who are cynical of me, who might think me sentimental or naive for believing that just a change in date will bring transformation, I try and stay clear of these voices and reflect/plan with glee.  Each of us has our own rituals that make us individuals - unique. I know that things will not magically change over night. I know that it isn’t an easy ride and putting in place commitment, positivity and patience asks much of me, but I do know that the rewards can be astonishing. My word for 2011 was connection, and it became my leitmotif throughout the year. Sometimes consciously, sometimes subconsciously, my thoughts and actions kept returning to my chosen word. I am proud of the connection I created and allowed  myself to receive. I feel richer both in mind and soul because of that guiding light. By naming an intention I am giving it power to develop within myself and in my world. Naming is power. That has to be a good thing right?

So I sat here at my desk on the 31st of December, in the late afternoon with candles lit, thinking intensely about my new word with the help of this thoughtful tool created by Susannah Conway. At first I felt anxious, as a word had not made itself known to me, and usually by this time I have a pretty clear idea of where I wish to take things. I had read so many delicious words of others, most of which I have tucked away for future nourishment, but didn’t feel I could use a word belonging so fiercely to another. Then,as my thoughts became lines, which became pages,  the word stories emerged. I have let my need to write and tell stories ebb and flow for years now, it just hasn’t felt right, for a multitude of different reasons, to pour all of myself into the task at hand. But sometimes you just have to wait patiently for your personal catalyst to come along. For me this arrived in the form of Jen Lee and especially her Telling Your Story course, which I had begun just a day earlier. As I wrote I realised I was telling my story for 2012 and that actually, the time is perfect for me right here, right now. This year is the year I will put my stories out there, it is the year I will work on telling my stories out loud to share with others, and it is the year I will listen to the stories of others more intently and more mindfully than ever before.

Happy new year my friends, may your words come true in 2012.

Capture a moment of a new beginning

Fitting for the first day of 2012, Bella asks us to look at that clean slate, how every action on the first day of a crisp, fresh year can be seen as a new beginning. The idea of focusing intently on my routines and environment,as if for the first time, was quite liberating for this soul - it really made me sink into my actions and surroundings with that little extra attention and care. I chose to capture my creative altar, a place where I intend to sit for a few stolen minutes each day and feel inspired. A recharging station for my soul. I've only just set it up, and so I know it will grow with riches over time, but the magic is there, I can feel it.

What will I welcome more of?

This week Bella asks, what will I welcome more of in 2012? Well, I have a whole day of reflection planned for tomorrow, which will most certainly lead to another blog post, but the immediate thought that springs to mind is to have many cosy moments by  candle light. When I light candles I am making an effort for myself, I am acknowledging that I need self care. It is like a permission slip to sigh and stop for a few minutes. For candles bring a different kind of light, containing magic and memories and dreams. This light invites me to be still and breathe, to connect to the moment I am in. It allows me to recharge my tired body and mind. 

Good old fashioned mail

Tis the season of giving and I love it dearly, but this particular season has highlighted another dimension to giving for me. I don’t mean the piles of presents under the tree, which were all truly lovely, thank you santa, but the quieter gifts, the unexpected, the tokens given directly from the heart, and all in the form of real post.

At the end of rather an exhausting day in December, I came home to find a parcel from my dear friend Lis. I am sure she will blush as she reads this, but she is an amazing joy warrior. She leads with inspiration and with an incredible way of reaching out to the world. I am in awe of her selfless kindness to others and as I opened my package, I felt really honoured that she had taken the time and energy to think of me. I felt special. Inside the package lay a pair of self knitted gloves in gorgeous shades of purple- love at first sight, needless to say. She had also included some of her newly printed artwork cards, each one authentic, so her. The troubles of the day seriously washed away as I sat smiling. 

As if that wasn’t enough feeling special, I received a package addressed to The Amazing Milena Widdowson a couple of days later. I can honestly say that I have never read the word amazing in front of my name before and I was smiling yet again before I had even opened my post. It was from a truly lovely Soulodge sister, as part of a giveaway project I am part of. We were all to re-gift something that served us well but that we are ready to let go of, ready to give to someone else to benefit from. Inside was the smoothest pebble of the darkest blue; truly beautiful. I sat for a long time with it in my palm, it fitted perfectly. I was amazed that someone had chosen to give something so beautiful to me. I looked through it and loved the way it turned my world into hues of blue. A totem can do so much. With it there was also a note, written by this lovely woman who I don’t know at all, wishing me so many lovely things with the totem she had sent. I felt humbled.

The third gift of real post was one I initiated myself, the gift lying not only in the message for the receiver, but in the openness and clarity that my own heart felt as I wrote. I wrote to my oldest friend. She is in each childhood memory, each smile, each tear. Before I met her I used to dream of a kindred spirit, as Anne of Green Gables would say, and I found her. Yet as is so often the case, life moves on, directions part, the hours are too busy. There are many good intentions, lots of thoughts saved for later. And so our friendship over time became a quieter one. 

As I sat thinking about this yet again one quiet Sunday afternoon, I asked myself if this is how I really wanted things to end, with an odd email here and there, a meeting once a year if we both were able to commit to it, the threat of us becoming strangers.The answer was a resounding no, for life is so precious. And so I wrote a letter of memories, of how I missed her, of how special she is. Like so often the first step is the most difficult, but now there is hope again. I love the idea of making someone feel special by good old fashioned mail. I may very well sit down often this holiday period and write some real letters, seal in them in real envelopes and let them flutter into the world.

One picture

I am stupidly late with my photo for last week's prompt: Just one photo. Share one of your favourite photos of the year and tell the story behind it. 

Today I finally have the time to sit down and catch up with myself, to take a deep breath and connect. So here it is, a little quiet number, not singing or dancing, not technically my best, but glowing with a moment of blissful calm, and an aura of achievement, during a bustling holiday period.

I think I have mentioned before on this blog,  how I have longed  to learn how to knit for many years. I never gave myself a chance because I didn't think I was able; I hold the craft of knitting on a pedestal you see. Well, after giving myself a good old talking to, I've finally begun      (thank goodness for youtube) and am now the proud owner of a rather cuddly, self knitted scarf. Of course, I am a beginner, and there is soooooo much to learn, but I no longer feel inferior to the world of knitting- I may call myself a knitter yet.

Sweets and Treats and Feasts

I don't usually use an Instagram shot for this project, and I try to take a fresh photo rather than relying on a previous stash, however, I am so pleased with the sweetness and warmth in the below, snapped whilst savouring catch up time with a friend.

“You've got this life and while you've got it, you'd better kiss like you only have one moment, try to hold someone's hand like you will never get another chance to, look into people's eyes like they're the last you'll ever see... and eat cake like it's the only one left in the world!”
― C. JoyBell C.

Colours of the season

For this week's prompt, colours of the season,  I have tried to capture a moment that illustrates my love for the natural woods, the soft whites and greys, combined with the striking red of life, which represent my utter love for this part of the year. The Christmas tree lights shining through the frosted glass were a complete surprise. I love it when that happens.

I get a little warm in my heart

When I think of winter.

Tori Amos