I am craving stillness at the moment, which I find most amusing as I have never been good at being still, not in the slightest! In the past even if I managed to keep my body still my mind remained so noisy, thoughts whizzing around at many miles per hour. There was always one of those horrid inner voices telling me that I should be using my time properly - not indulging in stillness, asking me what use it could possibly be to do nothing? Yet my intuition is now shouting passionately that stillness is what I need to connect with myself, that there is much to be gained from what I thought of as nothing and I am beginning to follow that intuitive voice, it talks a lot of sense if I only take the time to listen! I am seeing signs that times are changing for me everywhere, both within myself and in my surroundings:
A couple of years ago I took the Creative Goddess e course, the beginning of my creative rebirth, and as an end piece of artwork I created this:
She is stillness; she is faith, she is strength, she is medicine. At the time it was all about the creating for me, my pride was in the fact that I had completed my first substantial piece of artwork but as this peaceful, meditative self portrait of me sits leaned against my bedroom wall day by day I am drawn to her more and more - isn’t it funny how some things gain meaning and focus over time? She tells me I need to sit and breathe, shut out the noise for just a few minutes, to just be me and that will be enough.
I find myself drawn towards objects symbolising the stillness I want to embody too, I am surrounding myself with them, each one a beautiful reminder:
Meditations have never really appealed to me until now, all of a sudden I crave them and feel so much richer afterwards. Don’t get me wrong,I have to have patience, even force myself sometimes to sit down and be quiet when that endless to do list threatens to take over yet again, but when I do it is so simple and true. Have a listen to the beautiful mediations of Liz Lamoreux on her website Be Present Be Here, she has the stunning ability to reach profoundly into my soul. Goddess Leonie’s meditation journeys on fear, sleep and chackra balancing are soothing and invigorating all in one bundle of magical goodness. Who do you listen to? I would love to know.
My newly discovered passion for yoga is another turning point for me, as I have always admired yoga, always put it on my wish list of things to explore yet never fully reached out to it, knowing that it wasn’t in my personality to connect with such inner stillness. Yet here I am, learning yoga basics twice a week and pulling such strength from it as well as the inkling of an energy source I didn’t know I possessed. Do tell me if you have any good beginner yoga dvd recommendations- I am on a voyage of discovery:)
For a creature of habit my daily path is broadening and, although I am as always a frightened rabbit in the headlights of anything new, I am secretly quite enjoying these small but vital moments of magic.