Friday, 25 May 2012

Dear Wasp

I am terrified of wasps. TERRIFIED. A childhood of summer holidays in Bavaria, where there are wasps a plenty, has left me with too many memories of the excruciatingly painful stings. However, I am a nature lover and hate to kill anything living, and so I told myself in no uncertain terms that I needed to grow up and rescue the wasp that had found itself inside my house last week. Anyone watching me would have been most amused as I talked to it gently, wafting my arms carefully in the direction of the open windows. And I did it! It flew off quite merrily without aggression. And I wasn’t stung. Over the next few days three more wasps visited me in this way ( unless it was one the one wasp, which had become rather fond of me) , this is quite unusual for where I live. I concluded that wasp must be a messenger and began to trust in the research. Oh yes, I needed to hear these lessons:

Wasps stand for order and organisation. Anyone who knows anything about me knows that I am an organisation freak, my husband often shakes his head in wonder and disbelief in equal measures! When I let go too much of this part of me, things do tend to go in the shape of the pear and I find myself feeling lost and off centre. On the opposite end of the scale, when I have that sense of order, it is like I have the space to spread out, to explore. So dear wasps, thank you for telling me that in finding order there is also the opportunity for growth.

I had never really thought that the aggressive nature of wasps could have anything positive to teach me. But you know what, it has. When the aggression is in a protective capacity i.e. when it is to protect your territory, what you love and what you have worked hard for, then assertiveness is ok. I don’t mean meanness or violence by any means but I take it as a call to stand up for myself, to protect what I cherish and create. There have been a few times recently when I have been in the line of confrontation or unwillingly the centre of attention. Oh how I try to avoid confrontation.Oh how I avoid standing in the spotlight. In some of these situations I shied away, feeling an utter loss of personal power and to be blunt, I felt  rather upset. I find it incredibly difficult to understand how some people are incapable of respect when a difference in opinion occurs. However after the wasps, I gave myself a good talking to for I am an adult, I am able to stand up for what I believe in, in my many roles. And it works, even though it is totally nerve wrecking and a never ending process! 

Finding solutions
Having read all about how wasps make their nests using natural fibre and their own saliva , I am rather in awe of these creatures. Their house isn't a random mess either, it is all geometrically correct so that everyone has their place. Awesome. And so I ask myself, how good am I at constructing what I need physically? I am actually at my most mindful when I am making things, the words disappear and that wordless focus is replenishing and deep. Every time I garden I feel this way. Guaranteed. The nourishing dishes I am cooking these days make me feel the same. I feel this is a summer of making, with both feet planted firmly in my life.
(By the way I found a lot of wasp totem information on

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